A eulogy to Evelynne by Revd. Frank Topping
Mary and Lorna have given me and asked me to read, a tribute to Evelynne and also a request from Evelynne, for the reading of a particular piece of poetry. Now, their tribute begins by saying that you could not spend more the five minutes in Evelynne’s company without seeing a twinkle in her eye that spoke of an irrepressible sense of humour – informed by a quick wit and an amazing wealth of life experiences.
Well, within five minutes of me meeting Evelynne – at the beginning of the 21st century, we both realised that we shared a common interest, love of the theatre, poetry, - theology and humour. Theology and humour do go together, as someone said, “God must have a sense of humour or he would never have created ducks, or for that matter….most of the people who live in the Forest of Dean.”
Evelynne loved the clever use of language, the songs of Gilbert and Sullivan, Noel Coward and Flanders and Swann. We both enjoyed the quick and clever with of Oscar Wilde especially when we were involved in productions of plays such as The Importance of Being Ernest and Lord Peter Saville’s Crime.
Not that long ago at The Coombs [nursing home] we spent at least half an hour quoting [lines from the plays] to each other.
The poem she has asked me to read is not so much humorous as a statement of Evelynne’s faith in the promise of Christ, such as when Jesus said “My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” and to the thief on the cross he said "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." Was he saying – our bodies may die but your essence – your soul does not die, but lives an unimaginable life in a world where nothing is measured in time or space?
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Mary Elizabeth Frye
Anyone who met Evelynne Fisher and spent more than five minutes with her would say “She is so funny” and her sense of humour, that amazing mixture of quirkiness, imagination and wit stamped everything she did.
Further acquaintance and you realised the Evelynne was more that funny, she was clever, with a sharp intelligence, a strong empathy with people and a master of communication.
Evelynne was born in Bristol in the spring of 1934, the only daughter of Beatty and Les Warren. Things weren’t easy living through the blitz of WW2 and Evelynne had many stories of nights spent in air raid shelters with saucepans on their heads.
Eve loved animals, as a child her dog Spatz was the sibling she never had and they did everything together, a horse-mad child, with endless hours spent at the local riding school, mucking-out and sweeping yards in the hope of a ride.
Evelynne was encouraged to apply for a scholarship to the prestigious Clifton High School for Girls and she got it. Clifton High opened up a whole new world. Fostering a lifelong love of classical literature, language and music and a deep-seated belief that you could be anything you wanted to be.
At 18, she was dashing between commitments as an army reservist, field nurse and ambulance driver, singing and reciting at Eisteddfods, performing in amateur dramatics and squeezing in time with horses whenever the opportunity presented itself. Her young adult post-war life involved her enrolling at a secretarial college and looking for the good, steady job. Evelynne sailed through college, came out with first class qualifications and indeed, found a job.
Then in 1953 she met Vic Fisher and they married in 1957. Vic and Eve together, were a force to be reckoned with. They were ambitious and their dreams for themselves and their children. As soon as the Severn Bridge was open, they moved over into the Wye Valley. Firstly, to Catbrook, then Pen-y-Fan and later into English Bicknor and eventually, Clearwell.
Evelynne was living her dream, in the country with a bit of land, she threw herself into the role of wife, mother and would-be farmer.
Rescuing one badly treated goat developed into a prize-winning milking herd of British Saanens. Dogs, cats and ponies, chickens that fell off the back of a lorry, literally. Then there were the Angora rabbits, the birds with broken wings and the tortoise that walked up the drive, any animal who needed a home seemed to see a sign post at her gate.
When a bit more money was needed, Evelynne found a job and whatever that job was, if she applied somehow, she seemed to get it: sorting out farmers’ bookkeeping and accounts, investment advisor foe Abbey National, speech coaching, relief economics teacher, Dale Carnegie life coach, Sunlife insurance advisor, JCB, Nuclear Electric and the London Treasury, the list is long and a testament to her many talents.
In between and around her commitments as a mum, wife and work, she studied for and completed City & Guilds speech and drama levels, learnt to play the organ and was always toying with an idea or another ‘project’ of some kind.
Evelynne loved being a mum and a nan. More than anything she wanted her two daughters, Lorna and Mary to follow their dreams and be confident out there and do what they wanted to do.
Generally, Eve preferred a peaceful path ‘turning the other cheek’ looking for the window when the proverbial door was slammed in her face was the preferred methods of handling confrontation. Yet there was a ‘steel’ strength in Evelynne that was rarely seen except when it came to her family.
When a ‘life-changing’ incident brought Mary’s career in the police force to a sudden halt ‘Mum’ took on the Gloucestershire Constabulary with a determination and ferocity normally associated with large striped cats. She descended on headquarters, marched her way through to the Chief Superintendent’s office (unheard of without an appointment) and without raising her voice, she proceeded (according to those listening at the door) to give their Boss such a dressing down. “And she seemed such a nice little lady”. Magically all the paperwork went through “funny that” was Evelynne’s comment on the matter.
When Lorna said “I’m planning to emigrate to Australia” Evelynne said “Go for it,” bought a few guide books and started planning holidays to Australia. Lorna always attributes her abilities as a trainer and life coach to “Things I learnt from Mum”
Who doesn’t know the ‘Victorian Lady?’ Evelynne was inordinately proud of her youngest daughter’s skills, achievements and passion as she rebuilt her life.
The arrival of her two grandchildren, Cara and John gave her another chance to share fun and foolishness, create stories and mad moments. Cara says “Nan Eve taught me every silly song I ever learned and thanks to her, I’m the coolest auntie ever to my nieces.” Nanny Eve shared many ‘mad Nanny’ moments with Cara and John. A big hug, a broad grin, and “Silly Nanny” said with great affection was her reward for all those glorious moments and shared adventures.
Her glorious sense of the ridiculous and natural comic timing often belied the efforts she put into learning and presenting. Throughout her life, theatre, both at home and in public was central to her life. From Shakespeare to Stanley Holloway, she never missed a beat.
Evelynne always has a strong faith and belief in God and a love of the Church, the power of the message in words and music. Once they had moved to Clearwell, she invested her time in studying to be a reader and involving herself in the Church, the parish, the people and the village. Her readings were always peppered with humour and her natural empathy shone through, somehow, she knew the right thing to say and the right time to say it.
For her final ten years, Parkinson’s disease gradually robbed Eve not only of her physical strength bur of her personal and social confidence but the humour and witty comments were there, right up to her dying-day. Just ask any of the wonderful people at The Coombs who cared for her so diligently during the last months of her life.
Vic always credited his wife as the one “With all the bright ideas.” Evelynne always credited Vis with “The man who was brave enough to run with my bright ideas”. Married for 60 years they rode the storms of life together and they are now together again.
They leave us bucketsful of laughter, great memories and daft ditties that will endure through the generations of the family and friends.
Mum, Nanny Eve, friend, reader….your merry quips will be sorely missed but always remembered. Thank you for the laughter.